Espionage is a nasty business, but apparently, it doesn't have to be. James Bond taught us this; Stormy Daniels reiterates the lesion. What is Operation: Desert Stormy besides the most expensive porn production made to date? The premise is simple: save the world from Evil Saddam, played by our round-bellied buddy Ron Jeremy. I'll spare you the ridiculous plot and just say that it's a wild ride through the inane and sexy, the cheesy and graphic, the beautiful, and yes, the sleazy. Basically, the film covers all of its bases. On one hand we have this wacky commitment to theme, story, and dialogue, and on the other hand we have hardcore fucking, the meat of any XXX film. To put it simply, no one makes adult movies like this anymore. If you're looking for ding-dong, somebody's at the door, let's fuck his brains out, this ain't it. If you don't give a rat's ass for set-up, context, and mise-en-scene, Operation: Desert Stormy may not be for you. If you do, however, demand more from your porn, i.e. personalities and purpose, this film has both in spades. Although the sex is 100 percent gloved, it remains nice and dirty. All the angles and money shots are there, and the girls, well, they are the cream of the pornstar crop. This being said, at times I felt like I was watching a Bold and the Beautiful episode. There is a definite daytime-soap aesthetic to the action scenes. I suppose this is what network television would look like in a perfectly perverted world.
Dressed to the tits, Stormy and Randy go at it. It's one part DeBeers commercial, one part 007, and one part vintage porn-that is until the clothes come off that is. Then it is 2008, hardcore fucking at its best. We have deep penetrations, expertly captured; we have deep throated blowjobs; and finally, we have a big messy swallow. Gulp!
I love girls in glasses. Geek fucking, it doesn't get naughtier. Jenna is some sort of lap techie in this scene, but don't let her humble appearance fool you, underneath her good girl veneer she has the relentless will of a nymphomaniac and the burning loins of a horny call girl. Steven, luckily, has just the ticket for her, a fat headed monster schlong.
We are now in the South Pacific, a place of romance, a place of erupting volcanoes, and a play of penises behaving like erupting volcanoes. Randy, well, Randy is one blessed son-of-a-bitch, he gets Kaylani, Kaylani is an exotic beauty and an expert lay.
Lesbians of the world, take note: Lorena and Nakita do it as it is meant to be done, hard, soft, malicious, and sweet, all at once and then each in turn. Ron Jeremy witnesses this feat of femme-licious fucking. Somebody has to hold the camera.
I don't know about you, but I likes my pornstars like I likes my heavy metal-screaming bloody fucking murder! I mention this because Roxy has got a set of lungs on her, and she uses them to their fullest potential. This is easily my favourite scene of the movie. The sex, though pretty straight forward by today's standards, just works. What else can I say?
ORGY TIME! Do you know what I love about group sex? Everything. Variety is the spice of life and what better way to illustrate this maxim than a half dozen people fucking like Viagra dosed bunnies.
Melissa Lauren is unbelievably hot. She is the kind of cooze ancient wars were fought over. Tommy Gunn, fortunately, gets to rock her, sans battle. Shot stylistically, this scene is a real pleasure to watch. One could almost call it artful. This scene comes in at my number 2.
Back to Stormy. Why not, this girl knows how to fuck, and so does Steven, together they form a formidable fuck-wick and a formidable finale. Giggity!
As the Titanic of Porn DVDs, Operation: Desert Stormy delivers the goods, great production values, great sex, and even manages a few good jokes. That being said, at times I felt that too much time was being spent not-fucking, but hey, that's me.
Score : 85/100
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