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Anal Hookers

SCORE. 78 Anal HookersReview Date: 2008-03-05

Anal Hookers, is there another kind? Backdoor Shenanigans + High Class Whores = Good Times for All! Presented by Hustler, Anal Hookers is a website that puts the asterisk back in asshole (don't tell me you haven't noticed the resemblance between the two). This is gold star buggery. With names like Haley Scott, Tiffany Rayne, Alex Devine, and Angela Stone taking poon-poles rectally, you can bet your bottom dollar that this shit is top notch swag. 8 out of 10 Tony Danzas agree, these butt sluts are Mona-rific. The movie content is an in-house Hustler production, meaning that you can expect only the best girls and hottest action. Wit More ...

Young and Banged

SCORE. 78 Young and BangedReview Date: 2008-03-07

Glowing complexions, real smiles, and perky everything, is it any wonder why teen girls are the bees knees of busting balls? I mean, just take a look at them—so cute, so fresh—'Sure baby, I'll teach you how to love. BEND OVER!' This brings me to the site at hand, Young and Banged. This web destination is completely devoted to rosy cheeks, pigtailed hair, primary colours, and barely legal sluts. Naturally, these little Russian lasses are fucked two weeks from Tuesday. What would you do to a fine piece of 18 year old ass? Exactly—what wouldn't you do! Straight up, pound for pound, these Eastern Bloc babes are prettie More ...

Hairy Undies

SCORE. 78 Hairy UndiesReview Date: 2008-03-10

Get your machetes out fellas, we're entering full bush country. It's easy to forget watching modern porn that hirsute is a femme-hole's natural state. Most porn princesses go bald these days or very close to it. This is why it's such a treat to write about Hairy Undies, a site decided to wild beavers, uncut. Here we have pussy as it was originally meant to be, bearded and cum speckled. Now before you jump to conclusions, let me just say that these girls aren't backcountry hedge-pigs; on the contrary, they are as beautiful as any other pornstar, the main difference of course being their leg to leg carpeting. Naturally, the action More ...

Sleep Creep

SCORE. 78 Sleep CreepReview Date: 2009-05-08

As if the Seven Dwarfs didn’t fuck the shit out of Sleep Beauty. Come on! Dare I ask what you would do if you found yourself in a magical forest, a blushing comatose Disney babe blocking your pass? Does it matter which princess it so happens to be, Snow White, Cinderella, Jasmine, Ariel the mermaid--fishtailed or not? (Personally, I’d go for the redhead, scales be damned.) As a general rule of thumb, in fantasy land--which porn town exists squarely along the equator in—you always, always take full advantage of a sleazy situation. In fact, it’s your duty to be as presumptuous, vulgar, and exploratory as possible. Stick you dick More ...

Tiny

SCORE. 78 Tiny's Black AdventuresReview Date: 2008-03-25

Simply put, ebony babes are the shit. Tiny agrees with me 110%, slaughtering sister poon left, right, and center. Now don't let this pimp's name fool you, brother's got a mean honker, at least an iron-shod twelve. And thick, dudes pecker has the girth of a coke can, and I'm not talking base, I'm talking about full length! Naturally, he puts his god given talent to good use, busting über nuts over black ass with crass and distinction. It's all hardcore action for Tiny; nothing else will do. Only the deepest throats, the tightest twats, and roundest booties make the cut. Needless to say, Tiny's Black Adventures are epic indeed. More ...

Flexy Pussy

SCORE. 78 Flexy PussyReview Date: 2009-10-18

Women truly have amazing bodies, aesthetically and functionally—just look at them, soft curves, petite features, elastic holes—makes a man hungry for stuffing, and I'm not talking about the Thanksgiving kind. At this point, allow me to introduce Flexy Pussy, a website completely devoted to hot babes and the accommodating cunts they love to fill. Here you'll find every kind of penetration under the bastard sky; we have cucumber crammed coozes, we have dildo packed pussies, we have finger filled flussies, we have butt plugged beauties, we have fist taking poontangs, we have bead voiding vaginas, and we have pool-cued honey pots. Yumm More ...

Dirty Milf Club

SCORE. 78 Dirty Milf ClubReview Date: 2009-07-22

Older women know how to fuck; a life time of sheafing shaft and busting balls have made them a formidable dick sucking force. With no hang-ups or shyness, these anal enabled vintages know dirty. Dirty Milf Club is a perfect example of this truism; here you'll find cock fiend after cock fiend, their only care in the world, milking fat nuts. Big naturals and big fakes, BBW and BDSM, Blondes, Brunettes, and Redheads, they're all here in hardcore spender. Naturally, only monster cocks need apply, these seasoned Jezebels deserve nothing less. I guess that's seniority for you. More ...

Open Air Pleasures

SCORE. 78 Open Air PleasuresReview Date: 2009-10-08

You haven't lived until you've fucked in the woods; frankly, getting-it-on outside is in our blood, hardwired into our genes. Think about it, human beings have been screwing under the sun for the past 4 million years; shagging indoors is a relatively new development, the last 10 thousand years or so, give or take. Thus, hence, naturally, my automatic approval of Open Air Pleasures, the website, is more than justified, especially considering all of the young tight coozes being stuffed like a Taxidermist's Thanksgiving turkey. Perhaps I should be more specific. Expect blue skies and baby-faced lesbians, expect sunlit dicks and tanning twat More ...

Lust For Anal

SCORE. 78 Lust For AnalReview Date: 2010-04-02

Lust For Anal is not only an accurate description of my adult life; it's also an excellent hardcore anal website. Dear Balls Deep Buggery, you have never let me down; you have always been a friend when I've needed a friend, a trusted teacher and an inspiring mentor—a lover, oh yes, sweet sodomy, you complete me in every way. If you haven't already guessed, I'm a big fan of the backdoor. That being said, my word is still good when I say that Lust For Anal is one nut-a-rific destination. The girls are smokin' hot and the action is no-holds-bared hardcore—no anus is too small, no dick is too fat, when there's a will, there's a way— More ...

Oral Quickies

SCORE. 78 Oral QuickiesReview Date: 2009-11-22

My idea of a 'quickie' is roughly the length of a commercial break—3-4 minutes give or take. Naturally, a woman's idea of a 'quickie' is considerably longer, say about the better half of an Everybody Loves Raymond episode. But in the porn world, the normal definition of words do not apply; in the porn world up is down, bad is good, and a speedy blowjob takes about thirty-five minutes. At this point allow me to introduce Oral Quickies, a website dedicated to colossal blowjobs and the spunk washes they inspire. If young tight teens asphyxiating themselves on thick dick is your thing, lock the doors and drop your drawers, this shit is More ...

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